The London Marathon....

In short..... it was worse than childbirth! And in so many ways just like it! I wanted to give up so many times, and change my mind about the whole ordeal, but knew there was no option other than to keep going. I cried, I laughed, I looked forward to my reward at the end. And at the moment it was given to me, I loved my shiny medal about as much as I loved my newborn children. (ok, maybe not quite as much, but you know what I mean!)
I could never have anticipated how emotional it would be. I cried so many times for so many different reasons. I cried at the woman in front of me running for bliss ( a charity very close to my heart) with a picture of her son on her vest,born at the same time my son was, who only lived a day. I cried when I saw five japanese over 50's running for their destroyed hometowns. I cried at mile 16 when my toenail popped off and I felt like I was running on broken glass. At mile 17 again when it was so hot I needed to jump into a cold pool. I cried like a baby at mile 18, which was the point I was meant to see my family for a quick hug and I couldn't see them. And I cried at mile 21 when I took a woman by the hand as she sobbed into her husbands chest on the sidlelines that she couldn't finish. I cried especially everytime I touched Michelles badge, knowing without her I would have quit at mile 13!
It wasn't all crying... I laughed alot too.... At the giant tiger, or danger mouse. At being beaten by a rhino and a bottle of beer. At all the kids who high fived me along the way, and smiled at almost every person who called out my name and cheered me on.
When I reached mile 20 and my feet were agony, my tank empty, and my spirit weak, I contemplated sitting down and not getting up. I pulled over to the side and stretched. About a dozen people started chanting "go Jae, go Jae, keep going, you're almost there!" I wish I could thank them personally.... without that encouragemnet I'm not sure I would have kept going. For Belinda, who had breast surgery 14 days ago and crossed the finish line holding my hand, you are a true inspiration. For Jacqueline who was waiting at the finish line, you made it so special. My big girls and my mum who have been constant in my training and fears, I love you all. For Tony who encouraged me all the way through, and everyone who sponsored me for such a good cause. But especially, especially for Michelle. She was and is a presence in my life that is forever there, and forever great. She has left a gigantic hole in this world and dare I say it, I plan to run so many more times in her memory.
Thankyou to you all for all of your support, and that you Shelley for being there every step of the way x

Nerves...

Today I'm packing for London. I have everything lined up and ready to go. Mild panic set in when I couldn't find my registration form. It was, however where I left is, lying safely in my drawer!
I am more nervous than I was before giving birth, more nervous than when moving 6000 miles away from home. More nervous than flying on a rubbish day. I am 100% totally riddled from head to toe with nerves. I blabber, and snap and am a general altogether nightmare.
My babies have been taken down south for the week, to give me some time to prepare, and I am not sure if I find that harder or easier. I am aware of them being away every moment, and I miss my family terribly!
I am talking to myself and to Michelle constantly, and I'm almost certain I have caught a few people throwing curious looks and I chant my mantra while running.
So, London here we go..... with my mum and big girls en-tow, we are very nearly on our way! Aaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

calm before the storm...

Everything is running smoothly in the running world. I am keeping my training topped up, but have no major runs planned before next weekend. I ran this morning, 6 miles with my friend Alisa, and it was lovely. We enjoyed the sunshine, and the satisfaction of getting our run finished early in the morning. All in all it was really enjoyable.
On another note I do feel really nervous..... it will all be ok though right?

Nerves

I am seriously freaking out! Where has all my training time gone? I can't believe this time in 2 weeks, I will be in London.
A quick thanks to my mum who is coming down on Saturday with Lucy and Sarah. The thought of being there alone is worse than my feelings about waiting on the starting line.
I also feel so lucky to have the friends that I do. EVERY single morning, I have the mums at the school gate giving me encouragement, one (Alisa) has run with me a few times, and God love her for it. I told her the other day on a run that she was like the energizer bunny. I kid you not, the woman can have a full length conversation the entire duration of our run. I do try to keep up with the chat, but fear I grunt back at her towards the end. her face doesn't change colour, mine turns a very attractive shade of purple. She bounces up hills, I moan. She is just as chipper at the end as at the beginning, and I just want a seat! I will miss her bubbliness while hitting the streets of London.
So, the countdown begins.....
You still with me Shell?