The reason why....

I was on my track and field team at school, and once for a short while held the school record for the 800 meters. That athleticism is what I'm on the hunt for now. The running is hard in and of itself, but its my mind that does me the most damage. When I started this training I started it after doing sod all for months on end, running a mile was torture to both my legs, and my belief that I could do this race justice. Oh its not about finishing the race this time. I know how long 26.2 miles is... I know what mile 18 feels like, but what I don't know is what it is to give it my all. To run with purpose and a reason.
I am running on behalf of the charity CRY. Cardiac Risk in the Young. It promotes heart screening for those under the age of 35, as so many young people die each year of undiagnosed heart conditions, and to provide support to the familes who have lost someone close to them.
My reason is Michelle. My cousin.She dies last year after a bike race. She was 33, and her death left the family and friends in shock. I wish I had photographs to document the memories I now hold dear. The dancing around my living room, thumping sans grace to loud disco music. Or jumping into her pool in South Africa to fish out all her little toy cars. Or punching the soft bark tree in my front garden one summer frustrated. Most especially knowing when Shell got on a horse that she fell in love with those creatures as much as I was. Her smile, and her tenacity for life.
The 33 year old Michelle I didn't know so well. A few facebook messages, some touching, but not nearly as much contact as if I'd known she would now no longer be here.
Michelle was a tremendous athlete, she loved her sport. If she were training me for this marathon it wouldn't be just to get to the end, it would be to get there as best I could, so that is my plan. To run it as if she were too, and I plan on doing her proud.
Easy to say, especially as tonight I'm sat here exhausted physically and emotionally with the training. Its hard and its kicking my arse. Along with all the support and guidance and encouragement I get from family and friends, its the few negative or horror stories you hear that are hard to shake. Its a bit like pregnancy - Everyone has a story and they're not pretty. I mean WHY do people say things like, "I knew a guy who passed out 200meters from finishing. Don't do that!" Hmmmm, actually that was my plan, to run my heart out, and then just collapse before I cross the finish line!
SO, I have the reason, I have the motivation, the shoes, the shirt, and a few of the miles beneath my belt. Now I just need to find the determination to carry through to the very end!
Here we go Shell.....