Easier runs.

I finally feel like I can run without wondering at which stage I'm going to pass out! I had a nice run today with my friend Alisa, and wore my CRY vest in preparation for my london outfit.
Here is my new issue, and I apologise it is personal! I came away from the Alloa half with blisters not on my bruised feet, but on my boobs! ( ever noticed the real runners don't tend to be awfully well endowed?), and I have tried every sports bra I can find, plasters, dreaded vaseline, but the only thing that comes close to working is wearing 2 sports bras. What worries me is how comfortable that will be for 26 miles. I suppose if thats the only thing I have to worry about during the marathon then I'll be doing ok.
So I'm off on an internet search for the right bra, probably slightly late in the game for that!
On another note, I have also been reading about Lance Armstrong. Michelle admired him, and I can see why. Ever so slightly daunting after everything he has done, was reading that running the New York marathon was by far the hardest thing he has ever done! Oh God!

Beautiful weather

It actually feels like springtime. I can't tell you how much of a difference that not only makes to training, but to my entire state of mind. Going out for a run when the sun is shining, and the sky is blue, is hundreds of times easier than doing it in the rain or the snow.
I recovered quickly from the half marathon, which I think in and of itself has shown me I may actually be verging on some sort of fitness. My feet are screwed, my nails black, but all in all I feel ok.
I had a really lovely run yesterday, with y friend Alisa. We parked by the school, and ran in just enough time to pick the kids up at the end of school. I have no idea how far we ran, but we ran for an hour. An hour along I track I don't know, but now love, enjoying easy chat, and a fairly easy run. Had my feet not been niggling, I would even have been close to saying it was perfect.
Running that length is no longer really hard work, but dare I say it...... even fully enjoyable!
I now wear my badge with Shells beautiful face on it everytime I go out, and silly as it may seem to some, it really makes me feel like she is with me.

Alloa half marathon.

Yesterday I ran the Alloa half marathon. I arrived absolutely riddled with nerves, thank goodness my mum was there. Everyone bustled around, attaching numbers and time clips, stretching, chatting. It is quite an exciting environment, and easy to get caught up in the event. For whatever reason by the time I got to the starting point (although I was standing pretty close to the end of the crowd) my nerves had dissapated slightly and I was raring to go.
Everyone took off quickly, and I immediately knew the pace was faster than I had trained for. Avoiding the temptation to sprint ahead, I nestled myself in behind two women running for 'Help for Heroes'. Their pace was comfortable so I decided to follow. What was somewhat disturbing was that the person who had decided to tuck in behind me was an 82 year old man. Now good on him, what an amazing accomplishment for someone of his age, but NO WAY in hell was I going to be beat by an OAP.
Some poor guy was walking by mile one, one woman quit at mile 2, and a few runners were cuddled up in tin foil by mile 9.
I tried feverently to think of other things, other than how long to go, how long to go. I did settle into my running and my thoughts several times through the race, but I admit, the whole thing was hard. The strecth (3 miles) in menstri was never ending, and excuse my language, but the hill between 10 and 11 miles was a bastard.
I touched my badge with Michelles face on it four or five times for encouragment, and to remind myself in particularly hard moments the purpose of what I was doing.
Seeing the finish line was far more of a relief than a joy, and hearing my name being called out as I crossed was the funny release I needed. They were shouting here comes Jem Duffin, well done Jem, and all I could hear was my mum shouting at them. "Its not Jem its Jaime!!!!"
I am sure glad thats over, and can't help thinking four weeks from today, London will be too! Can I run twice as far? Who the hell knows! Am I going to give it my best shot? Hell yeah!

last run before Alloa.

Its the Alloa half marathon on Sunday, so in a bid to practice 'tapering', yesterday was my last real run before then. Tony had mapped out a 7 mile run around the loch.
Considering how bad and dull and grey the weather has been these last couple of weeks, I was pleasantly surprised by the sunshine and mild air. Its a stunning route to run, through wooded areas with a constant view of the loch. Seven miles is something I should find easy at this stage of the game, being able to stick to my chosen pace, and more simply enjoy the run.
Reality was quite different however. I woke up yesterday morning barely able to swallow, glands swollen, throat sore. I also had been stricken with the dreaded 'girly' cramps. I felt rubbish. But in "I feel guilty if I don't train" fashion, I dosed up on anadin extra and set off on my way.
I felt every step of that seven miles, every one painful. I couldn't regulate my breathing, and will even be so dramatic as to say I felt the onset of panic more than once, when it actually felt as if I couldn't get enough air in.
Poor Tony again, listened to my groaning through every mile. Seriously, after all this, the guy deserves a medal. I seriously considered if the hill at the end would sanction my collaspe, but I'm happy to say I made it.
Has that boosted my confidence for Sunday??? Eh..... NO!!!
On a plus side, Tony gave me a massive lucozade bag, filled with shakes, drinks, magic beans (energy jelly beans), gels. If all else fails, I will get a good sugar high.

36317

36317. Thats my London Marathon running number, and I'm a red zone starter. Now, I'm not sure if that means slow as arse zone, but I don't care. I'd rather be in that group than the group where they take off at a sprint and leave me in the back as norma no mates!
I'm freaking out in a totally undignified manner. I have a thousand doubts, worries and totally irrelevant thoughts circling around my head, but mostly I feel quite proud that I am about to be a part of something so nerve wrackingly brilliant. I may not finish as a fantastic athlete, but I will finish. I will finish with full understanding that I have done this to hnour a person who was selfless and giving of herself, of her time. I will finish with the understanding that this one event has truly, unmistakenly been life changing for me.
I am running the Alloa half marathon on Sunday, and am dreading the infamous 10 mile hill, but am even more excited about completing the race and hopefully finding my remaining toe nails still intact!

Gone is the peace....

Ok, what the hell is going on??? Its March, springtime, and its SNOWING! I think the world is all going to hell. Earthquakes, tsunamis, unseasonal weather. Its alarming, yet all I can think is how inconvenient it is....
Just as I'm running longer and faster the ground is re-covered in the stuff that guarantees I fall flat on my arse, am in danger of spraining something. I could really do with this whole bad weather thing to be over.
I have visions of my running this half marathon next weekend in a ski suit, falling both up and downhill.
The peace and acceptance I felt last week, ever so fleetingly, has once again turned into total unadulterated panic!!!!!!!

Peace

I am finally at peace with this whole marathon running malarky. I now have no doubt I can infact make it over the finish line in London. I am beginning to care less how long it takes me to do it, so long as I give it everything I've got.
I'm not a real believer in the supernatural, or even the overtly spiritual, but I do absolutely believe that I'm not doing this alone. Whether it is the inspiration Michelle left behind, or the support I feel from those who loved her, I'm not entirely sure, but regardless she is there with me when I run. She is there as a little girl laughing with me, and she is there as a personal trainer egging me on. I think about her all the time, I chant her mantra (actually Lance Armstrongs, but Shell used it), 'Pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever.' I speak to her, and I think, think, think.
I had no idea how emotional a journey this would turn out to be, but it is. And although I do it in public forums, and ask anyone I know, or even sometimes don't know for money, this has become a deeply personal journey too. It is far more than running, far more than training, its my way of putting my life into perspective, of counting my blessings, and putting MY world to rights.
Running this week has been peaceful. I have been running a 7 mile route, which is now my favourite, everytime I do it faster, with more ease, and FINALLY, actually feel the fitness kicking in.
Its less than 2 weeks now until the half marathon, and only a month after that until London.
Bring it on!

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/JaimeDuffin

uuuugghhh....

I have little to report. Death is a funny thing, it has an effect on everyday life that makes normal enjoyable things feel different.
The funeral was terribly sad, and totally infuriating at the same time. Although I will just focus on my own memories, and what made her important to me.
I hobbled in on my sore legs, and stiff feet, and am desperately hoping that after my leg massage tomorrow I will be feeling better. Running has lost its appeal this week, and I feel deflated insecurity settling in.
Tomorrow however, is a new day, and I hope I have more positivity to report. Just now I'm going to cuddle in with my kids, watch some rubbish telly, and keep my poor bruised, tired foot up.

13 miles...

Well, I did it. I ran 13 miles today. I wasn't necessarily looking forward to it. I've been battling an infection, its my Grandmothers funeral tomorrow, I had about a thousand other things to accomplish, and an hour from now I have a parent teachers meeting to go to. It will be interesting to see how sitting on a primary 1 sized chair feels!
I really enjoyed the first 6 miles, Tony (very patient and encouraging personal trainer) and I exchanged the occasional chat, the weather was beautiful, and I was happily running away from all my worries and frustrations. And believe me they weigh up to a rather large load today. Mile seven(ish), my right foot started annoying me, felt like I had a stone in my shoe, which we couldn't seem to get to the bottom of. Instead, Tony (who was wearing 2 pairs), gave me one of his socks, and this seemed to ease the irritation a bit. I'd say mile 10 was when the whole journey felt painful, and it began to feel at every turn was another hill! I hate hills!
My old lady knee really kicked in at this point and I ended up running like one leg was shorter than the other. No matter, we were closing in on the end.... I have a song on my ipod called "talking to the moon", by Bruno Mars, which is the one song that reminds me of Shelly and the reason I'm torturing myself like this, so that pushed me on further.
The last 1/4 of a mile was a stretch that seemed to go on forever, but alas, I finally made it home, to all four children, my mum, and a cup of tea. Bliss!!!!
I have a monster of a blister on my right big toe, and am almost certainly going to lose my nail on my left big toe. YUCK!!! No-one explained with this level of training I wouldn't be wearing open toed sandals this summer.
Damn that was hard, but I am patting myself on the back anyway :)
Now, just to get through tomorrow.....

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/JaimeDuffin